Little Women Playing with Big Business

Have you ever felt like a little girl, and not the strong, powerful woman you really are?

I felt that way throughout my entire corporate career. I knew I was good enough. I knew I was smart enough, and I certainly knew I was talented enough, but there was always that nagging voice in the back of my mind that consistently told me “You’re just a little woman who’s playing dress-up.”

“Climb the Corporate Ladder.” they said, so I did, and I clawed my way, kicking and screaming all the way up.

Every time I received a promotion, or hit a particular milestone in my career, I always felt as though someone was patting me on the top of my head saying “There, there dear, you’ve done a good job.” Not literally of course, but figuratively. Publicly, I always got accolades, and praise, but subconsciously I always sensed condescension.

How do you hold your head up high, and feel pride in your accomplishments, when internally¬†you feel as though it’s all a sham?

The issue never came with my capabilities. I was competent. It came from never really feeling like I was grown up enough for the responsibilities I was given.

When did I become an adult? When did people start looking up to me? When did I learn all these things that I’m now doing?

I was shocked!

Have you ever been taken completely aback by your ability? How did you overcome your feelings of doubt?

Entrepreneur Trapped in a J-O-B World

Throughout my life, I’ve excelled at every job I’ve ever done. When I got an interview, I was hired. When I got the job, I was promoted. When I was promoted, I learned new skills. When I learned new skills, I was more marketable. When I was more marketable, more opportunities presented themselves, and so, the cycle would begin again at a higher level of influence. This was a wonderful opportunity, for which I am thankful, but there was a problem… I was bored!

Working for someone else was never a vision I had for myself.

I identify with my career, and the work I do largely shapes who I am on a personal level. When I worked for others, I always felt as though there was something lacking from my life. I always felt limited by their boundaries, and their personal aspirations. Sometimes I would find myself more passionate about their business than they did, and my enthusiasm would be seen as over the top, even intimidating to some.

My reaction would be to tone it down, and let my excitement fade.

When a dreamer allows themselves to be limited by others, they can feel trapped. I’ve felt trapped by evey job I’ve ever held. Not at first, remember my enthusiasm, but over time. After being told “No” or “We can’t do that” or “It’s not our policy” enough times, I begin to feel like a caged animal. So, I usually leave, a little disgruntled, and look to find another adventure, and so, the cycle would begin again.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been searching for fulfillment all your life, and if you’re anything like me, a large part of that fulfillment comes from what you do as a career, so you can probably identify with the frustration I’ve felt as an employee. You were probably raised, very similar to me, and were taught to go to school, get good grades, and find a decent job. We simply weren’t taught that there were alternatives.

I have always been entrepreneurial, as a kid I sold friendship bracelets, and anything else I thought someone might pay for, but my skills were not recognized, and I did not have a mentor to guide me. As a young person I saw these activities as fun, but did not know at the time that they could be valuable. Instead, I dismissed them as a hobby, and focused on the tasks that would lead me towards a job, thus begins my journey towards discontentment.

Years and years I spent working in 9 to 5 drudgery, when I knew as a child what I was supposed to do. I’ve never been meant to punch a clock, or commute. I’ve been destined to make my own rules, and rely on my own creativity to excell in this world.

It’s been a long journey to get to where I am today, but I’m so glad I’m finally here. I’m taking the first steps as an adult towards entrepreneurship. I’m going back to basics, and back to what I truely love to do. I am going to let my spirit soar, and do what I was meant to do all along.

Have you ever experienced a feeling like mine? What did you do about it?
Please share in the comments below.